Esther, Queen of Persia, was married to King Xerxes.
Esther’s cousin Mordecai, worked at the palace and looked after her.
The King promoted Haman, one of his advisors, to be the highest above all officers and other advisors. Haman was really proud about this and commanded everyone to bow down to him. No one dared disobey him, but there was one man that wouldn’t. Mordecai. This angered Haman greatly and he planned to kill Mordecai and all the Jewish people. He told the King that the Jews were dangerous and should be killed and the king agreed. Mordecai was really afraid and sent word to Queen Esther. Mordecai begged the queen to try persuade the king to change his mind. Now the throne room was off limits and no one was allowed to go there without invitation under penalty of death but Esther bravely agreed to try to do it anyway. She went to the throne room and the king was amazed by her beauty and invited her in. She invited the King and Haman to dinner that night. She didn’t bring the subject of the Jews up that night but invited them to come to dinner again the next night and she would tell them her request.
At dinner the next day, Queen Esther said to King Xerxes, “A man wants to kill me and my people, the Jews!”. “Who would do such a thing!”, replied the king. A wicked enemy! Haman!”, Esther replied. The king was furious and ordered Haman to be hung on the gallows that he was preparing for Mordecai.
They celebrated with a feast.
Naomi's Learning 
Hello Naomi. I really like this essay and it is much longer than many or your others. I bet that you put a lot of time into it. Good job! Here is what I suggest:
Esther, (the new queen) of Persia, was married to King Xerxes.
Esther’s cousin Mordecai, worked at the palace and looked after her (welfare or safety).
The King (king or Xerxes) promoted Haman, one of his advisors, to be the highest above all (the royal) officers and other advisors. Haman was really proud about this and commanded everyone to bow down to him. No one dared disobey him(.) (But) there was one man that wouldn’t(–)Mordecai. This angered Haman greatly and he planned to kill Mordecai and all the Jewish people. He told the (k)ing that the Jews were dangerous and should be killed and the king agreed (to Haman’s plot or plan). Mordecai was really afraid and sent word to Queen Esther. Mordecai begged the queen to try (to) persuade the king to change his mind. Now the throne room was off limits and no one was allowed to go there without invitation under penalty of death(,) but Esther bravely agreed to try to do it anyway. She went to the throne room and the king was amazed by her beauty and invited her in. She invited the King and Haman to dinner that night. She didn’t bring (up) the subject of the Jews that night(,) but invited them to come to dinner again the next night and she would tell them her request.
At dinner the next day, Queen Esther said to King Xerxes, “A man wants to kill me and my people, the Jews! Who would do such a thing!”replied the king. A wicked enemy! Haman!” Esther replied. The king was furious and ordered Haman to be hung on the gallows that he was preparing for Mordecai.
(Queen Esther, Mordecai, and the Jews then) celebrated with a feast.
*FYI: When you use an exclamation point within a quotation, you do not use a comma or a period right after the exclamation point and/or the quotation mark. That is a tougher rule to remember. 🙂
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Ah, thank you for the corrections.
Yeah, that rule IS hard to remember! 🙂
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